The Best of FML for the Week...

FML is one of the best apps for iphone in my opinion.  Whenever I am really bored, or waiting in line somewhere, I like to check it out.  Some of the stories are more hilarious than others, but I get a kick out of a lot of the crap going on in other people's lives...er...does that make me a bad person? Here are some of the best from this week:

"Today my wife announced that she wanted a divorce.  She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through FML."

"Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend a kinky message.  He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply back saying 'honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate" FML."

"Today I learned that if I don't give my mom attention immediately after she calls my name, she will throw a baseball at me. FML"

" Today my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a 'fever'.  I came home to a dead cat. FML"

" Today my fiance sat me down for a "serious chat".  The chat wound up with him asking me if we could postpone our wedding because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML"

"Today I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded 'because you fired me yesterday'.  He didn't say anything, and hung up.FML"

" Today we finally got wireless internet.  My mom won't let us open any doors or windows because it might 'let the internet out'.  It's 103 degrees in here.FML"

"Today my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML"

"Today I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader.  I couldn't breath. I have a black-belt in taekwondo. FML."

"Today I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML"

"Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend set my ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream.  I found this out when I receiver a call while driving to work and thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML"

"Today my girlfriend broke up with me while I was driving her to a surprise party where I was going to propose. FML"